Quiet Raindrops
by Akai-neechan
Summary: It was always so quiet and peaceful around him, yet he had slipped on his little act this one time. 'You're jealous of Ren, aren't you' 'You're being ridiculous, little brother.' Maybe history does repeat itself. AU YohxHao Request from Ali Yume OneShot


_A/N: This is a request for __Ali Yume__! A little something that was supposed to be 'either Hao is jealous of Yoh for some reason or Hao is sick and Yoh has to take care of him'… Which I miraculously managed to put in one single OneShot xD I hope you like it, Yume-chan! _

_Oh, and in case you can't figure it out, when the text is like 'this', it's because those are Yoh's thoughts read trough the reishi. In italic are the flashbacks and the stressed words, the second of the two not present in the flashbacks since I can't italic the italic font a second time xD_

**Quiet Raindrops**

Hao loved sitting together with Yoh. It was always so peaceful, so comfortable and _quiet_ around him. Unbelievably so. His twin had that bizarre ability to completely switch his mind off whenever he was resting. He would think of nothing – such beautiful, precious silence.

The longhaired boy truly loved the times they just spent together, lying under a tree in the late afternoon somewhere away from everyone else. Somewhere secluded and privet. Somewhere _quiet_.

Raindrops fell from the darkened sky. Heavy, cold raindrops soaking him entirely to the bone. Clutching him in the freezing Hell of the unusual rain. It was December, god damn it! Since when did it rain in December!?

And even during winter, Yoh still possessed that amazing ability. When they would cuddle in front of the burning fire to heat them up, he would rest his head on Hao's shoulder and close his eyes not completely awake, yet not truly asleep either. It was a strange state of complete relaxation. For both him and his brother.

He sat there on top of the high roof, eyes closed, form relaxed. If only he could relax his mind as well…

Yet, despite of that perfect ability, Yoh had practically driven him crazy only minutes ago.

-----

_Hao was sitting comfortably on the soft couch, resting his head and looking into the small fire in the fireplace. Anna had long forbidden for him to start it anywhere else in fear for the house. She really should have had more faith in him – he liked the place, he wouldn't destroy something he liked._

_Suddenly a different trail of thoughts entered his own. _

'_Anna could be a monster. Her training was terrible. Even at such weather, she had little to NO mercy. How could she be so heartless?'_

_A soft chuckle escaped the longhaired twin's lips. Ah, Yoh was back. How nice, Anna seemed to have had her fun again today._

'_30 laps, half of which in the rain! How much worse could it get? At this rate he was going to catch a serious cold. How was it raining in December, anyway? Snow was so much better.'_

_The small smile was erased from Hao's face. No, that wouldn't do at all. He couldn't have his little brother getting sick. He'd just have to talk to Anna when she got back. Yes, that was going to be it. He didn't mind Yoh getting stronger; he liked that idea, actually. That was why he never stood in her way when she did her miracles and forced the lazy boy into fierce physical activities. But if she was going that far, something had to be done._

'_And what was he supposed to do for next week? Time was flying so fast. Most of the stores were closed now, since it was 26 December. He should have just gotten the present when he had the chance. If Anna continued like that, he'd get sick and miss that surprise party HoroHoro was throwing, too.'_

_The scowl deepened on Hao's face. He didn't like when his brother thought of things like that. Wasn't he supposed to stay well for the part Hao threw for New Years Day? Why was it that he was wondering for the day after? Something seemed to click irritably in the back of his head. Ah, yes, that Chinese boy's birthday. Why did it matter so much, anyway?_

"_Hay, Hao!"_

'_It was good to be home, really. Especially when Anna wasn't there and Hao was. He was happy to see his twin sitting comfortably like that. It was a great sight. Hao was truly handsome when he would look up at him in that satisfied way. Maybe he should stop thinking about this now…'_

"_No, no, do continue," smirked the longhaired boy and patted the place next to himself on the couch and Yoh smiled his usual goofy grin._

'_It was good that Hao liked people scratching his ego, or else they'd never survived that long together. He just couldn't help but simply sit and stare at some points, especially when Hao was feeling down and wanted to bring his self esteem up to hide the problems – then he would 'accidentally' sit/stand in that way that would almost make Yoh drool, or he would give him that look and smile that made him feel his knees weaken. His brother did miracles with such simple motions, really.'_

_Keeping that trail of thoughts, Yoh quickly found his way to the place next to his brother and as he climbed onto the couch the flames jumped and got as strong as the fireplace allowed them, sending comforting warmth their way._

_Yoh closed his eyes like he always did, completely leaning onto his twin. This was their time, the time when they would simply take comfort from one another and leave the other world aside. It was the time when they would be together alone. And no one, nothing would disturb them._

_And, of course, despite of how wet and cold his brother felt __against him, Hao couldn't help but wrap his hands around him and hold him tightly. It was always like this – nothing mattered. He breathed in that sweet aroma that never left Yoh now mixed with the dampness of the rain. It was so refreshing; it reminded him of the early summer days they would spend together on the veranda just out of reach of the raindrops with the pitter-patter echoing around them._

'_But really, what should he get him?'_

_Onyx eyes blinked open suddenly._

'_Maybe some of those 'Made in China' toys. Wouldn't that be nice? Ren would probably like it, or maybe feel nostalgic about his home… No, if he knew Ren – and he did, there was no way he'd get all nostalgic about something like this. Besides, HoroHoro was getting him one of those, so that was out of- Hmm… it felt so nice when Hao combed his fingers trough his hair… He should ask him to do it more often… Probably……'_

_Satisfied with the silence once more, the older twin kept his soft motions, his gaze washing over Yoh's small form cuddled against him. Ok, it wasn't that much smaller than his own, but the poncho always made that impression. Yet despite of being twins, they weren't that perfectly alike – Hao was, unquestionably more muscular while Yoh's frame looked slightly more fragile. Despite of that the smaller one had admirable stamina. And his face was so cute when he was relaxed and-_

'_Then maybe he should get him some Chinese food. No, that was stupid. Really stupid. Who'd give Chinese food as a present? But he knew for a fact Ren liked it. He did, right? Still, that wasn't an option, either. But where would he find something proper for his birthday at a time like this? Dost places were closed until New Years Day… Hay, wha-?!'_

_Hao's warm arms were suddenly pulled __away of him and in a second the younger twin found himself alone on the couch. What was that for?_

_-----_

Despite his calm interior, the blackhead was raging. What had gotten into Yoh today? He would never worry him during their time with his own thoughts, not to mention thoughts of _someone else_. It was enraging, infuriating. Even now that he had left him so suddenly, he could still hear those thoughts. The thoughts directed towards _Ren_, instead of towards himself.

Asakura Hao was jealous. Really so. The desire to take it out on a certain lavenderhaired Chinese boy sounded so welcoming… But he knew he couldn't do it. He couldn't just go and kill Yoh's friend…

He was only his friend, wasn't he? He better be! If he wasn't Yoh's _friend_, there was no reason for him to stay alive. There would be nothing to keep Hao from simply tearing him to pieces. Oh, how he wished he could.

He could feel the rain falling down harder and harder. Good. Very good. If he could just focus on the freezing drops then maybe he wouldn't feel so angry and so… betrayed.

No. That was nonsense! Yoh would never do something like that. He was just being a fool. He was just looking too deep into it.

But if it was like that, why did the other spent _their_ time thinking of someone else? It was that simple, unsaid agreement that they would completely belong to each other during those afternoons. It was so unsettling to think that Yoh would forget that agreement. So frustrating and so… painful.

"Hao?"

He was keeping his mind empty again. It seemed to get him even angrier to realize that now, all of a sudden it felt like Yoh was hiding something from him. From _him_. How could he ever hide something, block his thoughts simply like that? That was so… wrong.

"Hay, what happened?"

As if he didn't know. As if he was that naïve and stupid. Hao knew better. And he had thought Yoh had decided to stop that acting when they were just the two of them. Hadn't he? Then why was he putting it on now? Why was he acting so innocent and ignorant? That otherwise cute act started being unbelievably annoying.

"You're jealous of Ren, aren't you?"

His eyes shot open shot open at those words. Yoh's little 'blank mind' act was slipping suddenly.

'Why would Hao act like that again? That had to be it, didn't it? Maybe it had been wrong to think about the problem, but it was the thing that had been torturing him for quite a while. He couldn't just appear there without a present, after all…'

Hao couldn't take much more of that babbling. Suddenly being around Yoh was annoying him much more than comforting him. That hadn't happened in a while, he realized. Too long of a while.

"You're being ridiculous, _little brother_," he was aware he was being the one who was acting ridiculous. Not that he was saying anything about it, but… The words had slipped trough his mouth before he could really stop them. Had that been a mistake? Yoh had sure quieted down a lot…

"You... haven't called me like that since that time…"

The images suddenly flooded his mind and he had to close his eyes and breathe deeply to keep himself from reacting more harshly. The cold rain started making itself perfectly known again, but suddenly the drops on his skin felt more like a memory than reality.

-----

_Freezing rain was falling from the sky and as he looked up the harsh __drops mingled with the hot tears flowing from his eyes. Tears of anger, he told himself, not of regret or something like that. Just anger. Anger that she dared come and interfere._

_Anger that Yoh let her. It wasn't supposed to be like that. They were going to be just him and Yoh, just like they had been for the last, and only, eight years of their lives. And she had no right to just come out of nowhere and interfere with them._

_They were brothers. Twins. Each of them, the perfect copy of the other. No one could tell them apart except for them. Because they knew – who was Hao was not Yoh and who was Yoh was not Hao. But the world didn't see that. They saw them as 'the brothers', 'the twins'. Never simply Yoh. Never simply Hao. _

_Until she came and saw tore their world into shreds by recognizing them. And in stead of hating her, Yoh had smiled. Laughed. _

_Hao didn't know why this had driven him this far. Despite of being 8 years old, he had learned to hide his feelings, to never let the world know them. Hiding behind the mast he and Yoh had created together, trying to isolate himself from the others' thoughts and feelings, cursing this ability he possessed._

_And now, suddenly, it had all crumbles to the ground. _

_He was furious. That's why he wanted to rip her to shreds. That girl! That Kyouyama Anna! _

'_It was perfect! She had actually agreed! Hao would be so happy about it!'_

_No. Oh, god, no, he wouldn't be able to stand this now. _

'_How was he supposed to say it? Directly? Or just let him read his thoughts? That was always so handy with Hao! He'd know even before he told him!'_

_But he didn't want to know. He clenched his eyes, bringing his hands up to clutch at his head. He didn't want to know. He wanted Yoh to shut up. To stay away from him. The rush of his own thoughts was pushing away that of his twin and suddenly he was glad about his anger. _

_Yet at those same thoughts, something inside of him seemed to break. It was being thorn slowly, painfully, literally bringing him down to his knees._

_He didn't want to know. He didn't want to feel Yoh's cheerfulness. He didn't want to ever see him again. Yet he didn't want to push him away. He wanted him next to himself. He wanted to be with him forever. _

_It was the impossibility of all of this to happen in the same time that was driving him crazy. _

"_Big brother?" the call came from across the roof and he knew that Yoh was here and if he didn't stand up now he'd see him like this and-_

'_But then she was so cute in that dress, but-'_

_No. How could he be so stupid!?_

"_Shut up!" He clenched his head trying to pry the voice out of it. He didn't want to hear what the other twin had to say. He couldn't bear to hear it._

"_What's wrong, Hao?" There he went again, being so innocent. So stupid!_

"_What does it matter?" He screamed, fighting over the voices that only he could hear, trying to make them shut up. "Why don't you go talk about it with that girlfriend of yours!?"_

"_Wh- wha- what are you talking about? Big brother, what's gotten into you?" He was trembling at this point, his entire being shaken by the emotional strain. It was about as much as an eight years old could really take._

"_Leave me alone, Yoh!" He screamed. "Get away from here!"_

_As he __hardly turned around to lock one insanely wide onyx eye with his twin's raging flames burst between them and started towards his brother. The enraged fire roared under the freezing pressure of the storm, but continued towards its destination oiled by the burning heart of his master. _

'_Despite of himself, Yoh was afraid. Terrified. The look in his brother's eye… It had been nothing like Hao. Like a person he had never known. He couldn't tell what had happened, not if his brother didn't decide to share something of it, but that seemed unlikely now. What seemed likely – too likely, actually- was that explosion of flames consuming him and his feet worked on his own, backing away and then breaking into a run. What had gotten into his brother!?'_

_Finally free from the added thoughts of his __twin, Hao bent down, rolling into a ball and letting out the sobs burning in his throat as the rain kept hitting his back, merciless as ever…_

_-----_

_He was burning up. It was strange, really, he had never thought he'd ever really have that kind of a problem. He held complete control over the __flames; he could never let them hurt him. Yet there he laid, breathing heavily with every single part of his body was set in a burning fire. _

_But if he was so hot, why was he shivering then? It didn't really make sense. He just wanted someone to get those covers away from him before he positively boiled._

_It was at that moment that something cold, no, something freezing was put on his forehead. He couldn't help the loud gasp, although it felt so good, really. It was unbelievably pleasant in contrast with the fire burning over his entire body._

'…_all his own fault… He was such an idiot, wasn't he?'_

_Yoh? His brother was there? Why hadn't he realized that earlier? By the sound of it he had been here for a long time. And why was he here? Hadn't he chased him away?_

_But he hadn't meant to. What was he supposed to do alone? What was he supposed to do without his twin, without his Yoh? He would be nothing without the other half of himself… Why had he chased him away? He deserved to burn in Hell for even trying._

_Maybe that was what was happening._

'_He just had to go and do that… How could he? It must have hurt Hao so much… He probably thought Anna stood between them? No! Yoh'd never, never chose her over him! He should know that, still… Why had the younger one ran away last night? He should have stayed and insisted on his brothers getting in. Now he's got this terrible fever and will probably be sick for a long time. It was al his fault.'_

_A fever? A simple fever was such a torture? He had never gotten so seriously ill before, or at least not at an age he'd remember. And it was terrible, painful and he felt like the heat would consume him any moment now and not leave anything but ashes behind. He could only concentrate on the cold cloth on his forehead and the small cold drop that was falling to the side of his face. In contrast to his entire body, it felt so nice that he couldn't conceal the whimper which easily slipped trough his lips._

'_And what was he even supposed to say when the other woke up? That he was sorry? That didn't even begin to cover it. He had came back later that night to find his twin lying on the cold roof under the unstoppable beat of the rain, cuddled into himself… And somehow there was this feeling… Hao had been crying. He didn't know how he knew, he just did. It had been that hard for his brother and he just… What had gotten over him?'_

_Suddenly the older twin felt so exhausted. He didn't really want to hear any more of that, it made him think back to last night and it hurt… But somehow he had missed Yoh's voice. They had never been apart for so long before. He just wanted to embrace his brother and forget about that stupid girl. He just wished his body wasn't so heavy…_

'_Why had he been so happy about it? What was so good that Anna could tell them apart? Wasn't it a bad thing, really? She had come from nowhere and interfered with their life so suddenly… No wonder that Hao was so much against it. He could tell – his brother hadn't mentioned it, but it was obvious to Yoh. _

'_He just wished he had thought of that last night. But maybe Hao wasn't really right… Maybe they shouldn't always stay in the other's shadow. A part of Yoh really longed to be recognized and acknowledged, to be seen as Yoh, not as 'the twin'… That had been the reason to be so happy, not something else. Nothing, nothing else.'_

_Wanted to be acknowledged? Why hadn't Hao seen that? Where had he missed it? It was his own fault, then. He was dragging his brother forcibly towards himself; he was clinging to him so tight that he was taking away his right to be… To be Yoh. It had been his own mistake all of this time. And such a stupid move, too. He was probably hurting Yoh but he was so good at hiding that one thing that even his own brother couldn't always tell weather the smiles were fake or not. _

_Fooling others was an art they had mastered at the youngest age. Fooling them so that they would be together, so that they would be just the two of them. Fooling them that they were alike, fooling them that they were the same, when they weren't. No, not at all. In comparison to Hao Yoh was so kind hearted and forgiving, so careless sometimes, almost as much as he pretended to be. Hao, on the other hand, was calculative, always troubled by someone else's thoughts, he was slowly falling into a dark hole and he knew it._

_Yoh knew it, too._

_This ability was driving him crazy, turning him insane. And he couldn't make it stop. Even now Yoh's thoughts kept ringing trough his head suddenly incoherent and ununderstood. _

_And that power was his reason for the act. Their bond was his salvation, his little piece of string that held him over the abyss. His one last piece of sanity._

_That was why he clung so tightly to his brother. Because when he was with Yoh, the others' thoughts didn't matter, the others' feelings didn't feel so intense. He was the ground beneath his feet every time the older one was about to crumble down. _

_And Hao realized he-_

'… _He loved him. It was true, Yoh knew. There was no denying that. He knew it was probably wrong and twisted – they were brother, twins… Yet he couldn't help but feel like that. Did last night have to happen to make him realized that?'_

_Love… Maybe that really was it. Maybe it was so easier because Hao loved him, too. Because he wanted to give him all of himself, all of his attention and hold him, keep him, love him… _

_It was hard, but at that moment he knew he had to do it. Cracking his eyes open had never seemed so difficult before, indeed. At the moment Yoh saw that, he quickly retreated the piece of cloth and Hao whined a little, feeling the burn in his face now, too. The uncomfort was partially taken when the other brought it up and rubbed his face, bringing back the cold with every movement._

"_Hay," his own voice was so hoarse Hao could hardly recognize it himself. "Than maybe… We should be something more than brothers, shouldn't we, Yoh?"_

"_Wh- what?" 'He had been awake?' Hao could have laughed at the cute blush spreading trough the other's face. 'He had heard that? No, he shouldn't have… that was… what was going to happen now? He surely didn't want Hao to find out like that! This was so strange right now, so… so…_

"_Come here," muttered the longhaired teen as he closed his eyes again. It didn't take the other long to comply and bent down above him. Hao didn't waist time so he mustered up all of his strength and pushed himself up just slightly. And then, without any of them realizing just what was happening, he put his lips over Yoh's in a small, soft kiss._

_It was too fast for him to comprehend at that time but as soon as that happened it seemed Yoh's mind was completely shut down and sweet silence __hung around them. He could feel something too familiar to an electric shock run trough his entire body, the heath forgotten so long ago…_

_-----_

Hao recognized the feeling from back then just about now. Jealousy. It hadn't been only that Anna had told them apart, it was because Yoh had actually been thinking of someone else. It had driven him crazy at that point, that unknown burning sensation… it was much, _much_ more controlled now. He knew he had the abilities to keep it back…

But not when Yoh was thinking of him again. That boy had to learn to shut up from time to time.

But maybe… who knew, maybe that would still work.

He turned so that a single eye looked towards his brother who had frozen a little farther away. There was no anger this time, no insane drive to tear someone's heart out. There would be no fire this time. He had learned his lesson at that time. He was not making any more mistakes like that one. He would control himself if that was the last thing he did.

So he simply smiled slightly and mentioned with a wave of his hand for the other to come closer. Yoh's thoughts held for a second and then went rigid again. It was somewhat annoying, but he kept himself calm until the other finally started walking towards him. When the younger one finally reached him, he moved suddenly.

'Yoh couldn't even catch his movement, actually, but before he knew it the other had turned around, pulled him into his lap and-'

And as their mouths collided the shorthaired boy's thoughts were cut off their trail and died down. It still worked, after all.

Hao didn't stop it at that, though. They weren't as innocent as they had been ten years ago; such simple kisses were hardly satisfying any more. So as he felt the other's hands snake around his neck, he bit lightly the other's lower lip and was immediately given access to his mouth. He loved this in Yoh – it took absolutely no mental work to completely surrender to him. Slipping his tongue into his twin's mouth, he started exploring, licking and dancing against the other's. The small noises Yoh made were like beautiful music to his ears with nothing but the pitter-patter as a background.

When they finally separated, Yoh was fighting for breath and looked at him flushed and panting. It was a miracle he could look so hot when he was in a situation like this. Or maybe it wasn't, maybe Hao just saw him as hot in every possible situation.

The sweet silence of his turned off mind was so nice and rewarding, after all.

"Still works as a charm," Hao couldn't help but smirk at his twin at that.

"Huh?" The lost look on his face was simply adorable, the older one realized once more. And the slow and steady pace in which the other's mind was trying to get back to work was indeed in his favor. He couldn't help but chuckle.

"Let's get inside before I catch a cold again."

He pulled the other boy up with himself and started towards the door, holding his hand tightly.

'They had used to hold hands a lot before, Yoh remembered. Actually they had hardly ever let go of one another. Didn't that have more of a metaphorical meaning, he wondered. It wasn't like they had ever let go in the end, after all.'

Indeed. History seemed to repeat itself in the sweetest of ways.


End file.
